To work in Security,

To be nervous must be a key…

Drumming the desk

And all the rest

Of habits that AGGRAVATE me.

A little soft drumming’s okay,

But full orchestration?—-NO WAY!

If their bygone hope is

Accompanying Jennifer Lopez,

Then working here just isn’t the way.

Whomever checks the camera has fun,

Checking out the bad habits of each one…

Riding “horsey” and rocking

On a chair that’s breaking,

After a month or two of what’s done!

Gum-snapping, my teacher’s heart says,

Should be for teenagers’ plays…

One or two do,

Should be old enough, too,

To save that for off duty days.

And what do I do in the shuffle,

But constantly–frequently–snuffle…

By a staircase my nose

Blowing echoes,

There are quite a few feathers I can ruffle!


–Jonathan Caswell



1 thought on “FIDGETING GUARDS

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