HEY—THEY’RE ONLY TOE NAILS!!!! BUT I FIND IT HARD TO REACH ALL THE WAY DOWN THERE TO WASH, LOTION, ETC,!
“You never had a pedicure?” Stunned, my wife and daughter stared at me.
Maybe the Chimp needed to get in touch with his feminine side.
Coming home from my doctor’s appointment, I journeyed into a beauty salon.
To ignore the strange looks from the women I picked up a magazine. Apparently, Caitlyn Jenner doesn’t feel like a woman anymore.
A tiny Asian woman led me to chair that stood above a tub. Removing my sneakers, socks, and rolling up my jeans, I sank my feet into the warm water.
I could get used to this.
I started clever salon conversation. “Are you excited about the new season of ‘The Voice?’”
The thin woman next to me made awful sounds with her gum as if she learned to chew by watching cattle grazing.
Forget the conversation.
This Chimp knows there’s no greater turn off than a man with crusty nails. So…
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