The Girl I Used To Be


The image you see above was taken a few days before my trip to a psych ward for anorexia. In the photograph, you can see my self-harm scars on my forearm and my shoulder blades.

I looked like a toothpick.

That girl you see in the photograph…. died. I’m not talking about physical death here, I’m talking about the death of my destructive behavior I had. That girl, Lizzie Herrington, was the mentally ill child of the Herrington family. She has Chronic Depression, Social Anxiety, PTSD, and Bi-Polar Disorder, and for years, that is what she defined herself as. Lizzie saw herself as nothing more than a useless piece of shit; one that could never be loved by another, let alone loved by herself.

So what did Lizzie do? She became the architect of her own destruction. 

Lizzie would find anything (and I mean anything) to harm herself with. If it…

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About Jonathan Caswell

Poet, author, servant of God the Heavenly father and the Lord Jesus Christ...working out his salvation with fear and trembling. - Not trusting in his own deeds, but depending totally upon the finished sacrificial work of Jesus Christ to be, by God's reckoning, a new creature, clothed in Christ's righteousness...which mortal humankind can never attain by their own weak efforts, apart from faith in Christ's work on our behalf. - College-educated, yet wise enough to see that what a man does will not be his ultimate identity nor affect how God sees him or her. - Called by God to do a very difficult thing...apart from God's grace, mercy and love the sinner (which we all--by nature--are) but hate the sin, which is only paid through Christ, God's Son, - My own God-given gift is that of being a Poet..showing that in all parts of life...God has a loving part in hard as that is to always understand or perceive...given life's realities! Come join me on my journey of discovery?.

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