Suicide *Trigger Warning*

I COULD HAVE USED THIS—WHEN I WAS 15, OR SO (THE LORD SAVED ME, ANYWAY)!

The Dopamine Queen

Start at the beginning.

The summer before sophomore year of high school, when I was a few months shy of 16, I broke up with my first boyfriend. I was devastated; no one ever taught me how to deal with heartbreak and the emotions attached. I had a really hard time and lashed out in a million ways. I hit on my ex-boyfriend’s best friends. I tried drugs and drinking heavily. I skipped curfew and stayed out all night driving my parents insane and worrying them half to death. I chain smoked cigarettes out of my bedroom window and cut classes. I took a secret trip to the village in New York to get a tattoo without parental consent. I shoplifted clothes and jewelry. I was spiraling out of control. On my oh so sweet sixteenth birthday I tried to kill myself. Razor to the wrist. Two deep long cuts…

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About Jonathan Caswell

Poet, author, servant of God the Heavenly father and the Lord Jesus Christ...working out his salvation with fear and trembling. - Not trusting in his own deeds, but depending totally upon the finished sacrificial work of Jesus Christ to be, by God's reckoning, a new creature, clothed in Christ's righteousness...which mortal humankind can never attain by their own weak efforts, apart from faith in Christ's work on our behalf. - College-educated, yet wise enough to see that what a man does will not be his ultimate identity nor affect how God sees him or her. - Called by God to do a very difficult thing...apart from God's grace, mercy and strength...to love the sinner (which we all--by nature--are) but hate the sin, which is only paid through Christ, God's Son, - My own God-given gift is that of being a Poet..showing that in all parts of life...God has a loving part in it...as hard as that is to always understand or perceive...given life's realities! Come join me on my journey of discovery?.

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