the silent wave

Four years ago this evening, I was sitting in the stairwell outside, not far from the front door of our apartment.Β  Clutching my smartphone in hand, and a white-hot-burning compulsion to know.Β  Information tidbits like jigsaw puzzle pieces boomeranging around in my head.Β  An empty search box with a blinking cursor at the top of my screen taunted me, daring me to google my query.Β  Checking the boxes next to the questions of the first questionnaire that popped up in the results.

Staring at the quiz score, eyes widening as I scrolled down for the scoring key.

My life was never the same again.Β  Ever.

I’m not sure how long it took for the thought β€œwow.Β  I am on the Asperger’s/autism spectrum.Β  I am autistic” not to be the first thing to cross my mind every morning, but I’m sure it could be measured in months.

A year…

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About Jonathan Caswell

Poet, author, servant of God the Heavenly father and the Lord Jesus Christ...working out his salvation with fear and trembling. - Not trusting in his own deeds, but depending totally upon the finished sacrificial work of Jesus Christ to be, by God's reckoning, a new creature, clothed in Christ's righteousness...which mortal humankind can never attain by their own weak efforts, apart from faith in Christ's work on our behalf. - College-educated, yet wise enough to see that what a man does will not be his ultimate identity nor affect how God sees him or her. - Called by God to do a very difficult thing...apart from God's grace, mercy and strength...to love the sinner (which we all--by nature--are) but hate the sin, which is only paid through Christ, God's Son, - My own God-given gift is that of being a Poet..showing that in all parts of life...God has a loving part in it...as hard as that is to always understand or perceive...given life's realities! Come join me on my journey of discovery?.

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