I have a Confession

BEING DOWN MYSELF OFTEN….I FEEL FOR YOU AND FACING THE IMPENDING…SOMEDAY SOONER!

No Half Measures

I’ve been really down lately.

I think these feeling are a result of a combination of unexpected progression in October, precipitously rising tumor markers (highest since diagnosis over four (4) years ago), a new diagnosis for one of my boys, very low hemoglobin (I’m just about in the territory where infusions are routinely given), pretty intense diarrhea and actual accidents (going out in public wasn’t possible for a bit), SCARY rising COVID cases, continued disregard from people around me as to the risk of COVID to people like me, the upcoming PET/CT next week, and ongoing hurt from people in my life who don’t belong in my life, ongoing hurt from people who consider me a waste of their time, plus probably other things I’m not thinking about and things I’m not ready or able to talk about yet.

This remembering thing is HARD.

And also people around me dying…

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