Category Archives: car maintenance

ON DRIVING–SARCASM

On my way to work an entrance lane

So often becomes a pain…

What do folks intend

When the KNOW it must end,

Clear signage they’re ignoring again!

One or two actually try passing,

One tells by the speed they’re amassing…

Sneaking by on the right

Close enough to cause fright,

From the car model, they are typecasting.

Some act like it’s the exit ahead,

Common sense in this world appears dead…

Several car-lengths along

Do the realize they were wrong?

I don’t think it enters their heads!

Speaking of turn signals going,

Today a driver was slowing…

Ignored the exit ramp

SPED UP with winking lamp,

Merged into traffic not knowing?

One is tempted to make wisecracks,

Driver’s iicenses in Cracker Jacks…?

In the box as a prize–

Do they not see with eyes–

Thank the Lord the route has no railroad tracks!

–Jonathan Caswell

BALDWIN SISTERS

If you watched THE WALTONS,

You know the Baldwin sisters…

They held an innocent charm around–

But their “formula” would cause blisters (in paint!)!

Neither sister drove at all,

So Grandpa made money…

Driving the sisters around

To earn enough to treat his honey!

Baldwin sisters so have I,

But an unmatched dual…

If these two were very real

They’d run on diesel fuel.

Hard to say what I’ll do—

Paint one or the other…

Maybe I’ll take them home,

Naming one after Mother!

Collecting all these engines–

Ihope I see each run…

Piling them up on a shelf

Isn’t that much fun!

–Jonathan Caswell

A.C. LAUD

We laud the gift to mankind,

(We’ve Air Conditioning in mind)…

Comfortable air

Cooling off in there,

Refrigeration on the fly!

–J.E.C.

CHANGING TREE TANKA

CHANGING TREE TANKA

Colors start to pop,

Trees shut down their leaves’ supply…

Green leaves turn colors:

Morphology is working

Just the same in ev’ry year!

–J.E.C.

People come from far

And near…”peeping” foliage…

Brighter is better:

Bus loads come en mass to shop.

Local business harvests crops!

–J.E.C.

A final push all

Benefit from folderol…

Festivals light skies:

Candied apples and brown bread

Folks ready for winter dead.

–J.E.C.

Railroad excursions,

Northeast woodland incursions…

Train cars filled with joy:

Steam or diesel pull the trains,

Nostalgic commerce makes gains!

–Jonathan Caswell

FORD FOCUS-POCUS

FORD FOCUS-POCUS

A Ford Focus to rent,

It’s timing was heaven-sent…

Had to park,

Find things in the dark,

Like where was the headlight locus?

Confirmed things in daytime,

Some lights had no reason or rhyme…

Dome reading lamps

Gave me cramps,

Keeping them on was a crime!

Took the car back thee next day—

Maybe the dealer knew the way..

.It was connected

To the dash light switch detected,

The dealer knew what buttons to play.

–Jonathan Caswell

INSPECTION BLUES

THEM CAR INSPECTION BLUES

(tune of “WINNSBORO COTTON MILL BLUES”)

Last year it took six hundred bucks,

If we didn’t have it was out of luck,

I hear a hanger in back has gone

The exhaust pipe rumbles when I turn the car on!

I have the Blues

I have the Blues,

I have those Car Inspection Blues!

Costs so much to drive these days,

Paycheck goes only so many ways—

Looks like we’d better start to fund-raise!

The Shop can do it all for us,

Fix and inspect in one stop, a plus,

Pay those rising labor costs

We can’t make a living if the car is lost!

I have the Blues,

I have the Blues,

I have those Car Inspection Blues!

Every year gets more involved,

Sweating till each problem is solved,

Don’t you love how our state government’s evolved?

–Jonathan Caswell

FEAR INFLATED

FEAR INFLATED

Stories of manhood

Working on the car…

We used to do nearly everything

But that’s the way things are.

From mists of the distant past

Told with grim emotion…

One tire inflated too far, too fast

Resulted in explosion!

The guy doing the inflating

Was tossed side and died…

Every time I inflate a tire

I see that in my mind’s eye,

I’m fearful that the same

May one day occur with me…

Over-inflating a slow-leak tire,

Could I be blown to eternity?

–Jonathan Caswell