Category Archives: cliche’s

A LASS’ TARTAN SKIRTS!

A lass’ tartan skirts  as lifted,

Demonstrates her gifted…

Sense of style

And joyful smile,

Aye, lassie, you’re more than just gifted!

–J.E.C.

HONKIE HAIKU

HONKIE HAIKU

(i’S A WHITE FOLK!)

His poor heart is crushed

She doesn’t say much when rushed….

His chances are mush!

–J.E.C. (Author initials to separate haiku)

“SLINGING SLANG”

Hispanic…gringo,

Nipponese…round eyes,

On the streets…HEY, YOU!

–J.E.C.

HAREM SCARE’EM AND ME!

HAREM SCARE ‘EM AND ME !

(To the tune of “THE YELLOW ROSE OF TEXAS”…A SONG)

He thought he’d like a harem–

Oh, what a great idea–

Collecting beautiful women

For each day of the year…

Have one of every hair color:

Of red-heads, two or three,

Some that change with the season

Oh what a company!

But modern girls aren’t like the ones

That lived in olden time,

They’re much more educated,

Don’t easily resign…

Their lives and their futures

To a fat cat jailer-king,

To volunteer they’d like to hear

His cash disbursement ring.

Logistics would be maddening

Even if all were convinced,

Coming from all over

When he saw the bill he winced…

He began feeling outnumbered

Cooperation thin,

Instead of coming one-by-one

They all came after him!

He couldn’t pay their wages

So all up and left,

His fine plans for his evenings–

Not a single one was kept…

And then he got the bills for

The leaving of each one,

He decided then and there

Modern harems were no fun!

I thought of the same thing myself,

Like “THE HAREM OF BIRDS”

But only beautiful bloggers–

Women, in other words…

An exclusive club with just one man

My wife would veto fast,

My flesh already wants control—

The concept sounds a blast.

But thinking realistically

My cost is way too much,

I’ll lose those friends who cannot stand

A married man’s touch…

Long-distance relationships

Are harder to maintain,

I’d just as soon give up now

Before I feel the pain!

–Jonathan Caswell

SECRET HIDING PLACE

SECRET HIDING PLACE

He hid away his little toy

In a place he could view…

Now he can’t find the little thing

Or the file, to view!

It wasn’t one of his normal toys

Or how he usually sent…

He’d like to get it out someday

But he doesn’t know where it went.

In truth it was the kind of thing

That he should soon delete…

But since he can’t find it

He has to admit defeat!

He will try one more time,

Perhaps it didn’t “take”…

If that is gtrue, his job is done—

Such a piece of cake!

–Jonathan Caswell

SUNDAY IS COMING!

SUNDAY IS COMING!

I sure hope I’ll make it out

Depite my gimpy leg…

Getting to our church service

Will raise spirits a peg!

Other people slog through woods

And jungles getting there…

I just have to drive the car,

It almost seems unfair.

They, through great hardship,

Manage to attend each week…

I’ll miss if too tied

Or my leg begins to leak.

Each has their own suffering,

None like that of our Lord…

The more often we attend His church

The more often restored.

God accepts worship anywhere, but a crowd

Seems to be His favorite way hearing then sing loud…

Security in numbers–thousands are a thrill.

Taking tme to assemble is His joy and will.

–Jonathan Caswell

MY PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS

MY PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS

He heard I knew one of his

Church members vis-a-vis…

My time in Rehab==

Decided to grab

An invite he knew I’d miss.

My prejudice against him

Are assumptins he thinks I work in…

Or are they true?

Upon review,

Similar to what I hold against him?

His woeking of the Spirit autocratic,

Where no one else better attack it…

I claim an open mind

But when honest find,

Some ideas aren’t automatic!

I think I’m more mature than him,

As a matter of observing, not whim…

A simpler faith

He sticks to it straight,

Pefrforming with an energetic vim1

He and I in our respective “kinds”

Have some poor experience in mind…

Where both were hurt

By the other hair-shirt*,

Which experiences put me in a bind.

I barely get to my own church now,

So I’m expected to go to his somehow…?

Although a change

Might rearrange

An attitude better than now.

–Jonathan Caswell