Category Archives: economic

HAREM SCARE’EM AND ME!

HAREM SCARE ‘EM AND ME !

(To the tune of “THE YELLOW ROSE OF TEXAS”…A SONG)

He thought he’d like a harem–

Oh, what a great idea–

Collecting beautiful women

For each day of the year…

Have one of every hair color:

Of red-heads, two or three,

Some that change with the season

Oh what a company!

But modern girls aren’t like the ones

That lived in olden time,

They’re much more educated,

Don’t easily resign…

Their lives and their futures

To a fat cat jailer-king,

To volunteer they’d like to hear

His cash disbursement ring.

Logistics would be maddening

Even if all were convinced,

Coming from all over

When he saw the bill he winced…

He began feeling outnumbered

Cooperation thin,

Instead of coming one-by-one

They all came after him!

He couldn’t pay their wages

So all up and left,

His fine plans for his evenings–

Not a single one was kept…

And then he got the bills for

The leaving of each one,

He decided then and there

Modern harems were no fun!

I thought of the same thing myself,

Like “THE HAREM OF BIRDS”

But only beautiful bloggers–

Women, in other words…

An exclusive club with just one man

My wife would veto fast,

My flesh already wants control—

The concept sounds a blast.

But thinking realistically

My cost is way too much,

I’ll lose those friends who cannot stand

A married man’s touch…

Long-distance relationships

Are harder to maintain,

I’d just as soon give up now

Before I feel the pain!

–Jonathan Caswell

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BEEF AND BROCCOLI–CRAB RANGOON

BEEF AND BROCCOLI–CRAB RANGOON

Beef and broccoli, crab rangoon,

Yan’s* will bring my solace soon…

Encouragement by special treat

Something enjoyable to eat,

Helps him remember a happy tine!  🙂

–Jonathan Caswell

* Yan’s…a local Chinese restaurant that doesn’t use MSG in its cooking.

SUMMER SWEATERS!

SUMMER SWEATERS!

My wife lets me shop for her clothes,

I sometimes find deals, she knows…

WOMAN WITHIN*

Gave me a grin,

Finding what do you suppose?

They call it a “summer sweater”,

Like a thin cardigan but better…

Tunic-like in style,

The models all smile

And descriptions of nary a regretter!

They have fancy tunics, too,

With simpler hems, it’s true…

Flowery decoration

With imagination

Make clothing most easy to view!

–Jonathan Caswell

* WOMAN WITHIN is a ladies’ clothing catalog…one of several catering to the plus-sized woman.  The male counterpart is called KING-SIZED, put out by the same clothing sales company  (I get that one, too-)

AN ENDED ADDICTION

AN ENDED ADDICTION

An addiction of mine ends here,

My E-bay account is cleared…

Another “RS-1”

Is the last one won,

Toward healthier finance I’ve steered.

Can’t give what funds bleed away,

The Lord competes with E-bay…

Wanting to tithe

Helps addictions die,

More for my Lord—oh happy day!

This addiction from its conception

Survived by spousal deception…

I did less lying

But less self-dying,

Not willing to stand close inspection.

–Jonathan Caswell

LONE GOOSE PATROL

LONE GOOSE PATROL

Patrols the Lower Lot,

Searching for a spot…

Of goose laughter

Here-ever-after,

That this patrol is not.

Humans sprayed the nest,

Stuck feathers gave him no rest…

If she were okay

They’d both fly away,,

He fears for what might be best.

Wildlife people once

Took both of them by chance…

They were put back

Alas and alack,

Back inside the fence.

If they had gone away,

Perhaps they’d be fine today…

With nest unglued

And good attitude,

With less conflict than today.

–Jonathan Caswell

MORE LIMERICKS—FOR SATURDAY MORNING

MORE LIMERICK MAKINGS!

He’s blogging in full sight

Of the camera, which is right…

They must have turned down

Wi-fi signals found,

The connection’s not in sight!

He cannot get a scent

On the cheap, as he meant…

To get his way

He may have to pay,

That’s the way most things went.

He’s been open about his use

Of the Wi-fi signal not loose…

He’ll openly show

His hours they know,

Is it mean, their becoming obtuse?

It looks like a dog walker’s out,

A little dog using the snout…

To tell at a whiff

Dog news in a jiff,

That is a reason for “OUT”.

The tax man wants our dough,

Forgiven loans, also…

Income is judged

And will not be fudged,

Can we at least pay it back slow?

–Jonathan Caswell

THE EXTENDED DEFLATION-GATE

THE EXTENDED DEFLATION-GATE

Jordan Levy* said the NFL knew

Ahead of time what the Patriots might do…

In Baltimore

It had happened before,

Why waste all these months to interview?

This NFL doesn’t act serious,

If they knew all along, why be imperious?…

The officials bear blame

After knowing, all the same,

THEIR motives are just as mysterious!

–Jonathan Caswell

* Jordan Levy Show, on WTAG…580 AM and 94.9 FM, weekday afternoons.