Category Archives: humor

SUDDENLY SHOWERING

SUDDENLY SHOWERING

He feels almost a dope

For not bringing some soap…

Or be raincoated

As his wife promoted,

For avoidance of getting soaked!

He wanted to take a bath,

But not this way by half….

During his walk

People would gawk

At him on a loony bin path.

Sudden rain is refreshing,

Although it may cause redressing…

With every drop

One surel can’t stop,

The drenching is so distressing!

–Jonathan Caswell’

FURNITURE WARNINGS

FURNITURE WARNINGS

The latest in unsafe conditions,

Give shins and ankles grave suspicions…

A short glass table

That folks are unable

To see makes walking unstable.

Rather than turn on a light

This man thinks it is all right…

To let it pass,

Smashing plate glass,

Complainig the table needs a light!

Or move the whole thing,

In pain they manage to sing…

The wall motion switch

Has too slow a twitch

To avoid that glass edge hitting!

–Jonathan Caswell

THE RABBIT…WHOSE HABIT WOULDN’T HIDE

THE RABBIT…WHOSE HABIT WOULDN’T HIDE

A knocking at our door there

While I’m in just underwear…

I go hide

While the wife will stride

To the door and open with care.

It’s our neighbor, full of caring,

Another delivery she’s sharing…

So all can see

What’s come to me,

Can’t hide with so many staring!

Deliveries aren’t done yet,

There’s more in the works to get…

I’m getting tired

Of piles growing higher,

Is there a way I can safely say “NYET!”

Still have some things on the way

With a helpful neighbor parade…

Of packages to

A man nearly nude

Who has to hide away!

–Jonathan Caswell

SCHEDULED NAP

SCHEDULED NAP

The coffee’s burbling merrily–

The maker’s aroma good…

I should get back to a nap

Continue sawing wood.

I’ve been up since the crack of dawn

Fingering my keyboard…

I’m stifling a huge yawn,

Today has its reward.

Excuse me while I slip away

For an early-mid morning nap…

It’s a wonder how these early days

Can a poet’s energy sap!

–Jonathan Caswell

(P.S.—I’m not among the idle rich—I work a late second shift!)

BLACK OLIVES IN…?

BLACK OLIVES…IN…?

Black olives came in his salad,

The taste upset his palette…

His boss might them wish,

So in his candy dish

Went polives…and the end of this ballad!

–Jonathan Caswell

LOUD ENOUGH?

LOUD ENOUGH?

He took an afternoon nap

Using his trusty C-PAP…

His alarm rang

And he sprang

In theory, to shut its trap!

But it kept ringing because

He forgot where it was…

The C-PAP machine

Was the best he could glean

But THAT didn’t stop the buzz!

Finally he awoke,

Feeling like a foolish bloke…

On the table beside

His head he spied

The alarm clock which he broke.

–Jonathan Caswell

MEMORIAL DAY COMETH

MEMORIAL DAY COMETH!

(Tune of CHRISTMAS IS COMING)

Memorial Day comes,

Are you ready for the sales,

AA time at which a salesclerk quails….

If you cannot find a sales clerk, a cashier will do…

If you cannot find some cashier help,

God Bless you!

–Jonathan Caswell

A VERY SPECIAL THANK YOU

A VERY SPECIAL THANK YOU.

CONVENIENT CLOTHING

CONVENIENT CLOTHING

Three cheers for over-sized pants

That fall to ankles with a glance…

Pull up while hooked,

Tighten belt and book,

But don’t trip on them if you dance!

–Jonathan Caswell

MISSED (FOR NOW)-!

MISSED (FOR NOW)-!

Pop-up showers forecast,

One or two threatened but passed…

Our nook

Beside a brook,

So untie me from this mast!

–Jonathan Caswell

(google image)