Category Archives: humor

IN MY COFFEE!

IN MY COFFEE-!

The bug in my coffee was dead,

You smushed him, the waiter said…

My coffee cold–

Was the bug old–

It fills me with terrible dread!

–Jonathan Caswell

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EXIT STRATEGY

EXIT STRATEGY

—AT THE END OF A WORK DAY

We all have our bad days,

That ¬†follow us quite a ways…

Get to that door

Don’t worry anymore,

And take a new appraise!

–Jonathan Caswell

SASQUATCH AND BIG FOOT

SASQUATCH AND BIGFOOT

Have you seen Sasquatch and Bigfoot,

Not hearing anything…is it good…

To leave them alone

Undetected to roam.

When they’re barely understood?

On COAST-TO-COAST RADIO, Yeti,**

Have allegedly hooked up with Betty…

But no one admits

The Yeti did it,

Nor a woman with a Yeti as steady.

Unlike alien abduction,

Where victims get no introduction…

Just fuzzy memoriy

Of technology

And aliens who care for nothing.

Yet humanoid science raises

Opportunity for these crazes…

Few pictures appear

To support what we hear,

But the story always amazes.

–Jonathan Caswell

** COAST-TO-COAST AM, with George Noory.  Yeti is another variation of Bigfoot, in more snowy regions of the world.

SUDDENLY SHOWERING

SUDDENLY SHOWERING

He feels almost a dope

For not bringing some soap…

Or be raincoated

As his wife promoted,

For avoidance of getting soaked!

He wanted to take a bath,

But not this way by half….

During his walk

People would gawk

At him on a loony bin path.

Sudden rain is refreshing,

Although it may cause redressing…

With every drop

One surel can’t stop,

The drenching is so distressing!

–Jonathan Caswell’

FURNITURE WARNINGS

FURNITURE WARNINGS

The latest in unsafe conditions,

Give shins and ankles grave suspicions…

A short glass table

That folks are unable

To see makes walking unstable.

Rather than turn on a light

This man thinks it is all right…

To let it pass,

Smashing plate glass,

Complainig the table needs a light!

Or move the whole thing,

In pain they manage to sing…

The wall motion switch

Has too slow a twitch

To avoid that glass edge hitting!

–Jonathan Caswell

THE RABBIT…WHOSE HABIT WOULDN’T HIDE

THE RABBIT…WHOSE HABIT WOULDN’T HIDE

A knocking at our door there

While I’m in just underwear…

I go hide

While the wife will stride

To the door and open with care.

It’s our neighbor, full of caring,

Another delivery she’s sharing…

So all can see

What’s come to me,

Can’t hide with so many staring!

Deliveries aren’t done yet,

There’s more in the works to get…

I’m getting tired

Of piles growing higher,

Is there a way I can safely say “NYET!”

Still have some things on the way

With a helpful neighbor parade…

Of packages to

A man nearly nude

Who has to hide away!

–Jonathan Caswell

SCHEDULED NAP

SCHEDULED NAP

The coffee’s burbling merrily–

The maker’s aroma good…

I should get back to a nap

Continue sawing wood.

I’ve been up since the crack of dawn

Fingering my keyboard…

I’m stifling a huge yawn,

Today has its reward.

Excuse me while I slip away

For an early-mid morning nap…

It’s a wonder how these early days

Can a poet’s energy sap!

–Jonathan Caswell

(P.S.—I’m not among the idle rich—I work a late second shift!)