Category Archives: limerick poetry

PACKAGE SERVICE MIX UP

Sending two semi trailer trucks

To the same place costs big bucks…

Glad it’s not me

In that company,

Who may be out of luck!

–J.E.C.

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A DIME A DOZEN

A DIME A DOZEN!

Jerks are a dime a dozen,

I think I ran into his cousin,

His playing dumb

Enraged me some,

I hung up on a fool’s cousin!

So the guy calls up again,

Snapping loudly his gum…

Chewing like a cow

Extremely loud,

He hung up—had his fun.

I could have been better-prepared,

Perhaps I even erred…

Was in no mood

For gum–cow-chewed–

When angry my reason’s impaired.

–Jonathan Caswell

LITERARY SLEIGHT-OF-HAND

LIERARY SLEIGHT-OF-HAND

Choosing alluring titles,

A skill writers perceive as vital…

Catching the eye

Of readers to try,

Seeing the “eye” in eye-full.

Alluring but just a handle,

Won’t work if one can’t hold a candle…

To the test underneath–

Attention is brief,

To other sites readers amble.

Providing that narrative hook,

Educators have written books…

Claiming to know

The best way to go,

But reading theirs costs you big bucks.

-I think that experience

Should guide you forth-hence…

Learn as you blog

You young dog!

Learn literary common sense.

–Jonathan Caswell

OUT OF THE DARK THEY CALL…

OUT OF THE DARK THEY CALL…

I hear voices when awake,

That offer that I should partake…

Of salty snacks

And lewd paperbacks,

Revisiting what I’d forsake.

These voices out of the gloom,

My own evil nature assumed…

On higher levels

Directed by devils,

Who would have the body exhumed.

Given right now I’m full,

Food bad for you has great pull…

I would crave

Junk food to the grave,

Someday  these cravings do dull!

Bought diet soda–a brand

That is in very high demand…

The side effects

Not those one suspects,

There’s danger in that glass in your hand!

Success in changing lifestyle,

Will definitely take a while…

Deal with craving

Without caving

In under phantom duress.

–Jonathan Caswell

PAYDAY REALITIES

PAYDAY REALITIES

Hooray for it being payday,

Over half of the check floats away…

We’ll buy a treat

Some things to eat,

The rest goes for bills to pay.

By the way, we try to pay tithe,

It’s not under Law so we thrive…

Blessings pour through

As we give God his due,

A blessing to husband and wife!

–Jonathan Caswell

RENT-A-MOTHER1 (WHEN ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIALL!!!)

RENT-A-MOTHER!

(When absolutely essential!!!)

At times when I find too much drama,

I panic and search out a Momma…

Behind whose skirts

I hide my hurts,

Separating them by comma.

I can’t say why I chose,

But avoided runs in her hose…

She let me stay

Till the monster went away,

I thanked her for being so close!

Imagine a man of fifty-eight,

Scared and needing escape…

Barrages are scary

And he’s more wary

Of how to avoid burns on his nape.

–Jonathan Caswell

APPLE CRATE

APPLE CRATE

I see another partial crate

Of apples That someone did donate…

Will tomorrow see

My wife rope me

Into  applesauce or pie filling make?

She has nearly two crates now,

Processing all those somehow…

Applesauce frozen

I think she’s chosen

The best way to preserve and stow.

–Jonathan Caswell,