Category Archives: satire

FINAL (?) COMMENTS ON A “GRIFFIN”

A mythical griffin is true

To its nature blue…

Made of rock–

Sturdy stock=–

It never  no never boo-hoos!

Unlike the “comedienne,

Who’s turned herself into “victim”…

Self responsibility

Is unconscionably,

Denied by her or him!

Now a lawyer she seeks,

Someone else must pay her lost “ekes”

She did the act–

No one “made her”, in fact–

Most of us see through her pitiful squeaks!

It’s time for this child to grow up,

As one wag said–MAN UP!…

You’ve gone too far

With behavior bizarre,

With morals you’ve proven corrupt.

(An opinion post! )

-Jonathan Caswell

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HAREM SCARE’EM AND ME!

HAREM SCARE ‘EM AND ME !

(To the tune of “THE YELLOW ROSE OF TEXAS”…A SONG)

He thought he’d like a harem–

Oh, what a great idea–

Collecting beautiful women

For each day of the year…

Have one of every hair color:

Of red-heads, two or three,

Some that change with the season

Oh what a company!

But modern girls aren’t like the ones

That lived in olden time,

They’re much more educated,

Don’t easily resign…

Their lives and their futures

To a fat cat jailer-king,

To volunteer they’d like to hear

His cash disbursement ring.

Logistics would be maddening

Even if all were convinced,

Coming from all over

When he saw the bill he winced…

He began feeling outnumbered

Cooperation thin,

Instead of coming one-by-one

They all came after him!

He couldn’t pay their wages

So all up and left,

His fine plans for his evenings–

Not a single one was kept…

And then he got the bills for

The leaving of each one,

He decided then and there

Modern harems were no fun!

I thought of the same thing myself,

Like “THE HAREM OF BIRDS”

But only beautiful bloggers–

Women, in other words…

An exclusive club with just one man

My wife would veto fast,

My flesh already wants control—

The concept sounds a blast.

But thinking realistically

My cost is way too much,

I’ll lose those friends who cannot stand

A married man’s touch…

Long-distance relationships

Are harder to maintain,

I’d just as soon give up now

Before I feel the pain!

–Jonathan Caswell

WOULD YOU LIKE A CABANA IN HAVANA?

WOULD YOU LIKE A CABANA IN HAVANA?

(Political/Economic opinion piece)

Presidente Obama said

Our fight with Cuba is dead…

He talked with Raul

Castro who liked it all,

But Congress doesn’t want the two in matching beds!

–Jonathan Caswell

AN EARTH DAY TRILOGY

AN EARTH DAY TRILOGY

(of political and ecological opinion)

Presidents using Air Force One

Must consider ecology dung…

Florida trips

For Republican rips,

Shows where his heart’s clung.

On the Washington Mall,

Earth Day parties shared it all…

Consciences seared,

The movement’s gone weird,

The way they left things appalled!

Put trash out the night before

Helps strong winds litter more…

Why people do

Clean up after you,

You don’t pay enough for the chore!

–Jonathan Caswell

(Ideas from news items heard on local radio)

FUR-BRAINED FELINES

FUR-BRAINED FELINES

You Tube compilations

Of cat concentrations…

Mirrors and jumps

And into bath dumps,

Expose tintinnabulations!

–Jonathan Caswell

HE’S MAKING IT PERSONAL

HE’S MAKING IT PERSONAL

(Political and religious opinion  piece)

Today’s “ISRAEL NOW NEWS”

Reported our President’s views…

Unhidden by slant

We hear his rant

Denying survival rights to Jews.

His “white boy”–namely Biden,

Put on notice the Jews he was riding…

To look to Israel

To find survival,

No longer by America’s deciding.

Presidents flipping birds

To Israeli leader’s words…

Immaturity

And absurdity

Like little boys flipping dog turds!

–Jonathan Caswell

SOME PENTATETTE SUBMISSIONS:

SOME PENTATETTE SUBMISSIONS:

I submitted limericks to THE PENTATETTE** for several years. These are just a few.

It’s raining and snowing together,

The perfect Worcester (Mass.) weather…

But here’s the trick,

It better not stick

With cars driving hell-for-leather!

–J.E.C.

Blogging of a starlet’s spiral

Downwardly took off viral…

What is stank,

She laughs to the bank

Not caring her story’s hirel.

–J.E.C.

I once had red hair you see,

But grey, black and bald’s left to me…

My prejudice arose

‘Gainst the men I suppose,

Because anger for me was easy!

–J.E.C.

In October his Mom died of cancer,

After all this time there’s no answer…

Why he’s not cried

But deep inside

The issue takes more than a glance, sir.

–J.E.C.

He once knew a family from Douglas

Whose home was practically bug-less…

They sprayed lots of mist

With chemical fist,

Poisoned the dog and went pugless!

–J.E.C.

**THE PENTATETTE is an on-line and printed newsletter specifically for limericks.  See http://www.limericks.org for details.