Tag Archives: acid reflux

FOR THOSE FOLKS I WORK WITH…

FOR THOSE FOLKS —I WORK WITH…AND ANYONE ELSE

I won’t be distributing any poetry in any form, other than someone who directly follows this blog on their own.

Since I have this last try before termination at my job, I am complying.

I won’t go into details (My fault entirely) but they mean it.

There are other factors involved—not just poetry—but I reserve the opportunity to keep my own counsel and not go into details.

–Jonathan Caswell

E-BAY FINGER SLIP

E-BAY FINGER SLIP

A voice in his mind thundered,

“you bid one thousand five hundred…”

For charity,

Woe is me,

But relief—it came in considerably under!

–Jonathan Caswell

COMPARISON OF FREE ANTI-VIRALS

COMPARISON OF “FREE” ANTI-VIRALS…!

It’s true you get what you pay for,

That is the worldly way…

Comparing apples with apples

Is where I’ll be today.

I trust this newly-bought system

Will do as claimed…

The prelude into tis coming,

For lots…I could have complained!

Free NORTON kept the popups

Out till nearly the end…

These guys kept them coming,

Although sanitizing again (and again!)

I’ve layers and layers of something,

too many ads for me…

I wish they’d do the protection

And then just let me be!

–Jonathan Caswell

THE CHEF SALAD

THE CHEF SALAD

I’m culturally illiterate

But let me explain,

My digestion has seen the end…

Of meals that blossom

Into stomach pain,

This is something I cannot pretend.

Blander not spicer is the rule,

Acid reflux waits in the wings…

I feel like I need to go back to school

To learn how to order things!

–Jonathan Caswell

JACK SPRAT SOUND-ALIKES

JACK SPRAT SOUND-ALIKES

You’ve heard of Jack Sprat and his wife,

Me and mine lead a similar life…

Onion, cuke and green pepper

My wife eats never,

‘Cause acid reflux bites.

I’ll take that good stuff and go,

Leaving lettuce and tomato…

And croutons of course,

Garden salad’s the worst

But we make it post, place and show!

–Jonathan Caswell

WE DIDN’T HAVE BOILED DINNER!

WE DIDN’T HAVE BOILED DINNER!

While honoring the Irish, alas,

We’re prone to too much gas…

And acid reflux

Too easily bucks,

The resulting looseness is crass.

My wife and I have foregone

Boiled dinner to feast upon…

The salt alone

We shouldn’t bring home,

‘Though tasty, we’re better off with none!

We salute our Irish ancestors,

Of which are just mine that we’re aware…

Hibernian pride

Swells inside,

But having boiled dinner–we don’t dare!

–Jonathan Caswell

THE BREAKING POINT

THE BREAKING POINT

Me think enough hommus

Has slid between the lips…

Am getting full

And feeling pull

Away from such snack dips!

Can’t say I’m through with eating,

But hommus want is fleeting…

I’ve had enough

To be stuffed

Before the stuff’s repeating.

–Jonathan Caswell

MORE SILLY LIMERICKS

MORE SILLY LIMERICKS:

 

As weather is growing colder,

Old Jack Frost grows bolder…

He blows through clothes

And panty hose,

So tighten that coat on your shoulders!

A cat climbed up the tree,

To see what he could see…

And wouldn’t come down

With dogs around,

But waited until evening to de-tree.

A boyfriend groomed and showered,

But his aftershave overpowered…

His beautiful date

And it was too late

To soften the effect of her glower!

She tries to tickle her man,

To prove to him that she can…

The challenge was steep,

He fell right to sleep

Twas useless to tickle that man!

You’ve heard of that lady from Niger

Who was swallowed while riding a tiger…

Tiger acid reflux

Made for redux,

The lady escaped from the tiger!

While living in a lighthouse,

Every morning the light is doused…

Lens cleaning is fine

If you don’t go blind,

And be led around by your spouse!

A story on the Internet,

Is one I haven’t gotten to yet…

Hand sanitizers work

Or of them should we shirk,

Is it too long ago to vet?

While traveling home one night,

I saw strangely arranged light…

It could have been

A U.F.O. then,

It followed me with silent flight!

I hope my car tire inflates

Were the shop people really cheap-skates…

To say it was new

But be worn through,

I hope it stays up like its mates!

 

–Jonathan Caswell

 

WHY I DON’T DO POLITICS…

WHY I DON’T DO POLITICS…

Some people think it a gas

To bring up faux pas from the past…

Riding on the back

Of the current hack,

Depending on stereotypes cast.

Lovers and haters alike

Really enjoy good fights…

As long as you win

It’s worth tucking in,

To parties and dinners at nights!

For me, I tend to get busy,

Spinning around makes me dizzy…

I can’t play the game

With old “what’s his name”

Without acid reflux getting fizzy.

At present it seems to be

Just one big old party…

Saying nearly the same

Under another name,

I doubt they really care for me.

While the country slides into hell,

Those folks all live very well….

With a Pres. who spends

As much as it extends,

And as much of the country he can sell!

Problem is, the other side’s nearly the same,

Just as whacked out with power and fame…

We little folks hunker

Down in the bunker,

The only ones feeling national shame?

–Jonathan Caswell