The trouble with baked beans,
Is undigested proteins…
Tend to collect
As you’d expect,
Unless extra enzymes do their thing.
(Like BEANO)
–
Do you know why church seats are pews,
Carefully add up the clues…
Saturday beans
Provide the means,
If one eats many or phew!
–
These days, pineapple enzymes,
Are known to decrease gas lines…
Better fresh
Uncooked, I suggest,
Wise practice for those more refined!
–
–Jonathan Caswell
Working on a Saturday,
For a friend needing off time–okay–
Three til midnight
Surveillance of site,
Having time to play!
–
The Missus preparing baked beans,
Not the way I would it seems…
Beans get done:
Either one
Has the ability and means.
–
Tomorrow I hope to attend,
The First Church with my friends…
Singing praise
Lightens my days,
On this, my week depends!
–
–Jonathan Caswell
BAKED BEANS BY COMMITTEE
–
Preparing for some good baked beans
I gathered materials…
Bought us lots of bacon
And the standard procedurals.
–
Not wanting lots of sugar
That puts me in a spin….
I bought sugar-free syrup
With dark brown sugar in.
–
somehow I thought one pound was weak,
Insisted we cook up two…
She found a nine-by-twelve inch pan
And said it’ll have to do!
–
I THOUGHT…the bacon would
Be cooked in with the beans…
SHE DECIDED to cook it separate
To lessen fat it seems!
–
I should have done a little pot
With bacon unsupervised…
But I assumed–perhaps too much–
And was pleasantly surprised!
–Jonathan Caswell
TIME FOR BAKED BEANS!
–
Take two pounds of navy beans,
More if you have the means…
Soak overnight,
Prepared right
They’ll be the beans of your dreams!
–
Gotta boil them with baking soda,
Decreasing the produced gas quota…
Lessen the “piu”,
Guests are thankful too,
Reducing it to an iota.
–
Decide what they will bake in,
Crockery’s better than tin…
Season to taste
As taste buds wait,
Steamed brown bread will bring on a grin.
–
On pineapple we have reliance,
Enzymes found by science…
Help dgest the stuff
With a lot ess “puff”,
Raw on the side–please try it!
–
We use brown sugar and bacon,
Just a little mustard in making…
The best tasting bean
You ever have seen,
The fancier things we’ve forsaken!
–Jonathan Caswell
TOOTING THE HORN!
Eating veggies and fruit
Leads to more frequent “toot”….
Air freshener cans
Sprayed on command
Preserve a sensitive snoot.
–
In open air the easier one breathes
With the help of a gentle breeze…
Folks call them pews
After baked bean chews,
That can bring guys laughing to their knees!
–Jonathan Caswell
By the Mighty Mumford 