Tag Archives: Caswell parody lyrics

IT’S BLACKOUT TIME IN DOUGLAS!

IT’S BLACKOUT TIME IN DOUGLAS!

It shut off early morning,

Roughly six AM,

I woke up to the C-PAP off

No more sleeping then…

My wife’s power chair won’t run

I think now I goofed

In getting the wrong battery

Backup–this was proof!

Put the batteries in the radio

That I’d not gotten done,

Christian radio sounds fine

When TV’s will not run…

I have to go check on her

In case she needs to go,

We gather in the Common Room

Discussing our woe!

 Our building is half off–half on…

A confused state of affairs.

Some apartments have half-power,

And many power-bare…

Hallways and the Common Room

Are generator plugged,

The rest of us must bide our time

Grin and give a shrug!

Housing for the elderly,

Why don’t we all have power,

Without certain appliances

Some won’t last an hour…

Marie was a goner

Had Carl not checked her line,

With a shoulder concentrator

She is now feeling fine!

Nine-thirty is the time that

The power company,

Claims that the neighborhood

Gets electricity…

The lawn sprinklers are in use

anachronism time,

The ladies are laughing

At another funny line!

Jonathan Caswell

MY NEW ALARM CLOCK!

MY NEW ALARM CLOCK!

I have a new alarm clock,

The first in twenty years

The best that I remember:

The old one brought me tears…

An alarm that was too soft to hear

But I’d wake up anyway,

This one is easier to see

At night as well as day!

Set up like the older one

But cost four dollars more,

It has a USB charging

If a smartphone I’d adore…

Backed up by the same kind

Of nine-volt battery,

The wife to be helpful

Opened the package for me!

Changed over late,late last night

The battery took time,

With not much room to hook it in

But now it works fine…

Be interested to hear

How loud this alarm can be,

It could become my latest chum

Or quickest enemy!!!!

–Jonathan Caswell

HERBICIDE TROUBLE IN N SCALE

HERBICIDE TROUBLE IN N SCALE

(Tune: THE YELLOW ROSE OF TEXAS)

I bought a model railroad car

For the memoriy

Of a New York shortline

Meaningful to me…

And then I found out that

The one shipper it had

Produced a herbicide that was

Found environmentally bad!

I bought an N scale

“Stauffer Chemical” railroad car,

But am afraid to run it

Don’t want to start a war..,.

N scale protesters are as fierce

As the full-sized ones I’ve heard,

I wouldn’t want my model folk

To say those nasty words!

No wonder in the seventies

That railroad went away,

For environmental damages

Someone should always pay…

If they served a dirty coal mine

They might still have a prayer,

‘Cause the latest in smoke scrubbers

Might just have saved the air!

Oh, the Skaneateles Shortline

Was a favorite railroad,

Down to one last shipper

Their existance was owed…

But that shipper produced herbicide

Found emvironmentally bad,

The only reminder I could buy

May get scale people mad!

I may just reletter the car

To use it for flyash,

Proper use of recycling

No scale people can bash…

Or maybe it will sit it out

In lonely display,

Or it’ll run to an incinerator

To burn the stuff away.

–Jonathan Caswell

(ebay)