ZOO DENTAL HYGIENIST
–
Alligator or crocodile,
Either–both–give your best smile….
Keep those jaws good and wide
‘Cause I’m going to crawl right inside,
Now, don’t forget and take a nap
I’m cleaning your teeth of tartar and crap,
This might just tickle or cause some pain
But if you don’t …SNAP!
–
–Jonathan Caswell
HAD HIM A THOUGHT…
While laying down caught
Up in resting, had a thought…
Pain medicine-born
(Or fermented corn?),
It grew so fearfully fraught.
–
Remember, he was wracked in pain,
Finding relief (it wasn’t cocaine!)…
Juggling a vision
Of limited wisdom,
Enthusiasm he barely contained!
–
Like an old man with no more thrills,
He imagined a roomful of girls…
Women, if you will,
Waiting until
This man came in so they’d unfurl.
Imagine a roomful of hugging
Women…no cameras or bugging…
‘Twas all too much
For this man to touch,
Sensory overload came a-tugging!
–
‘Twas more than he could’ve stood,
And fainted from way too much good
Attention female,
Behind the veil
He HAD TO ESCAPE…and he would!
–
With fantasy circuits blown
He struggled his way back home…
To his quiet nook
With a good book,
“Too much at once,” he groaned.
–Jonathan Caswell
PITY THE GUY
He lost his pretend friend,
Their relationship had to end…
Now he is looking
At who is cooking,
Another with whom to pretend.
–
Another redhead–he thinks,
As at a brunette he winks…
The unattainable
His fanciful
Object to dream instincts.
–
The problem with fantasy lovers
Is dealing with them when uncovered…
Embarrassing times
Paying for lines
Spoken unguarded to others!
–
Better stay with the woman you’d got,
That, anyway, is my lot…
But tendencies to
Think things one might rue,
Warn of being put on the spot.
–Jonathan Caswell
By the Mighty Mumford 