Tag Archives: humor

POLLEN DESCENDS ON US ALL

the antihistamines are calling,

in this season of pollen falling….

pollen descending

we are defending

against with drug prices appalling!

the real stuff behing the counter

doesn’t always help the encounter…

a half-hearted try

we don’t know why,

drug resistance leaves us to flounder!

trying something new,

feel like a lab rat too…

sometimes ala carte

makes you the mark,

big bucks at once to burn through!

find what works–it won’t last–

supplies run out fast…

left to your own

would be welcomed home?

shouldering that phlegm–sticky blast?

–Jonathan Caswell

SPRINGTIME SILLY

Despite cooler weather the peepers

Are going wild without sneakers…

They’re barefoot and proud,

Shouting loud,

Getting away from close squeakers!

Roadside memorials there

Have fallen into disrepair…

Maintained by grief

Let go on relief,

But in mourners’ hearts they care!

Morning songbirds a-twitter,

Calling fo a babysitter…

“These kids are too much–

“Loud music and such,”

But none of the parents are quitters!

Amazing the amount of roadkill,

In springtime on roads there will…

Be animals unused

To being caboosed,

By a truck, bus, or car…at will!

Video feeds of bears

Near town looking for three “squares”…

Calling pest control

Who have a role,

In taking the bears back out there!

The stink of a rainy night,

Earth worms in roadways not bright…

Resultant mush

Is fertilizer plush,

But enough worms stay out of sight!

Coyotes around in the winter,

Environmentally hinters….

That our woods overbuilt

Can’t carry the guilt,

Large tracts of forest are splintered!

–Jonathan Caswell

TOTALLY INCLUSIVE

Universal it is  to forget,

No one  escapes I’ll bet…

Company presidents

Forget cell phones, hence

Any with perfect memory—not yet!

-JONATHAN CASWELL

A CORRECT WEATHER FORECAST?

A CORRECT WEATHER FORECAST???

Evening rain reduced to drizzle,

This time the forecasters sizzled…

Shapely or not

They hit the spot,

Let’s give all a rock candy swizzle!

–Jonathan Caswell

STEAK AND PEANUT BUTTER

STEAK AND PEANUT BUTTER

Steak, peanut butter

And pumpernickel bread…

Made the best supper

So the wag once said,

Only with a good heat  source

Or microwave to cook…

Up the steak to go along

With the other stuff–

Just look!!!!

–Jonathan Caswell

THE DROOPY EYELID LIMBO

THE DROOPY EYELID LIMBO

The droopy eyelid limbo,

Wake up and arms go akimbo…

Nodding off with ease

Then startled by a sneeze,

Solutions are relatively simple!

Toothpicks in eyelids work great,

Until the picks lacerate…

Strong coffee is nice–

I prefer mine with ice–

And cream to help it taste great.

Walking around pumps the blood,

Chewing gum just like a cud…

Use fresh each time,

‘Though ruminating’s fine–

Just don’t lay down in the mud!

–Jonathan Caswell

THE LONG WALK

THE LONG WALK

Unlike “THE LONG RIDE” movie,*

Where James Arness’ acting is moving…

This situation

Of consternation

Is rather less groovy!

The Long Walk alluded,

Hopefully will be soon concluded…

Reconstruction inside

Lengthens the stride,

The timing of which must be prudent.

Alas, the nearest mens’ room,

Is blocked off for now (sudden gloom)…

Getting relief

Is not so brief

Even for just a hair groom!

–Jonathan Caswell

* A Gunsmoke TV movie–1993

I WANTED EQUAL TIME?

I WANTED EQUAL TIME?

To the doctor’s usually I

Am her chauffeur and guide…

Our doctor’s the same

But this time I came,

Solo, medicine to apply.

‘Twas rather a shock today

That I couldn’t get away…

With an unpaid bill,

Kind of a thrill

Knowing they cared that way!

A nurse came to prime

Me for the nurse-practioner’s line…

When Melissa came in

She said with a grin,

“So you wanted some equal time?”

–Jonathan Caswell