KITTY CAT AFTER DARK!

CCTV, around eight,

Saw a kitty cat walk past the gate…

With the Main Gate closed

The kitty, I supposed,

Was hurrying to a rendezvous late!

–

–Jonathan Caswell

MY WIFE WANTS A CAT

MY WIFE WANTS A CAT

Her husband soon will be working

Evenings–she’ll feel lonely…

She wants to get a kitty

To keep her company.

–

In theory there’s no problem,

But infections we tend to get…

Kitty front paws must declaw

Or the answer is “nyet.”

–

Suggested renting our neighbor’s

“Kizzy Kat” for a while…

The wife wasn’t enthusiastic,

She wants her own feline child.

–

I really can’t say I blame her

For I miss a kitty cat too…

At least we’ve begun discussions

Till we decide what to do.

–Jonathan Caswell

PHANTOM CAT FEET

PHANTOM CAT FEET

(A variation)

 

I nap on and off all day,

On weekends to repay…

My body for time

When I don’t feel “prime”,

During work scheduled on weekdays.

–

Of late I’ve been awakened

From slumber by being shaken….

By noises and sounds

From somewhere around,

The sources of which I’ve been mistaken.

–

I’ve heard more than once my name

Spoken softly, as through the door it came…

At other times, cries,

Softly open my eyes

With no creature there, all the same.

–

Once this last week, the treat,

Diagonally of kitty cat feet…

Over my legs

Not walking on eggs,

The illusion felt so complete.

–

I wake up and open my eyes,

No one’s there….not much of a surprise…

Is it all in my head

As I lay in bed,

Or some kind of spirit, disguised?

 

–Jonathan Caswell

 

POTENTIAL PUSSY (CAT)

POTENTIAL  PUSSY (CAT):

 

We’re looking for our kitty cat,

Our old one’s dead and gone…

We’ve had three months to grieve and heal

And it’s time for moving on.

–

We identified a shelter

That may have whom we need…

A couple of cats sounded interesting,

But nothing’s yet guaranteed.

–

We don’t have our house anymore

But live in an apartment complex…

We’re only allowed one kitty cat,

In our home of either sex.

–

This cat must be spayed or neutered,

Something we’ve near always done…

Except for our “Jessie”

Who ran off before he became one.

–

We’ve agreed on a ginger tabby,

Or a black-and-white, we don’t care…

As long as they accept our  loving

The Lord will lead us to who’s there.

–

If weather and finances jive

The wife and I…

Will visit the kitty cat shelter ourselves

And pick out our blessing undisguised!

 

–Jonathan Caswell

 

SEASONAL CHARGES

(www.safe4work.org)

SEASONAL CHARGES***

(A song parody of “I Wear My Pink Pajamas”)

(1.) I wash my fingers often in the Summer when it’s hot,

And wear wooly mittens in the winter when it’s not,

But sometimes in the Springtime

And sometimes in the Fall…

I get a static shock

And I jump up the wall!

–

WOE…WOE…WOE…IS ME!

Caught by static ‘tricity….

The door knobs I touch

Sometimes hurt so much,

With a ZAP of built-up charge!

–

(2.) My job is to check door knobs to see if they’re locked,

Strolling on the carpet tends to guarantee me shocked….

I use the back of my hand

To touch the metal frame,

And if there is static, it will not hurt the same!

–

(3.) The seasonal charges do not always cause me grief,

But when I am off the job I forget charge relief…

My fingers touch my kitty’s nose

And he jumps across the room,

He shies away from touching me…

Not trusting me so soon!

–

WOE…WOE…WOE IS ME!

Caught again by static ‘tricity…

The kitty cat may claim

I have done it all the same,

But it happened by stroking his mane!

 

–Jonathan Caswell

(www.school-for-champions.com)

(AUTHOR’S NOTE:***In other words, the tune of “The Battle Hymn of The Republic”)