Tag Archives: loose bowels

WE DIDN’T HAVE BOILED DINNER!

WE DIDN’T HAVE BOILED DINNER!

While honoring the Irish, alas,

We’re prone to too much gas…

And acid reflux

Too easily bucks,

The resulting looseness is crass.

My wife and I have foregone

Boiled dinner to feast upon…

The salt alone

We shouldn’t bring home,

‘Though tasty, we’re better off with none!

We salute our Irish ancestors,

Of which are just mine that we’re aware…

Hibernian pride

Swells inside,

But having boiled dinner–we don’t dare!

–Jonathan Caswell

NO RABBITS FOR DIABETICS!

NO RABBITS FOR DIABETICS!

 

It should be known at Christmas,

That sugar-free “PEEPS” did not fly…

If you looked at the market

You’d figure out why;

I’ve looked upon the candy shelves

And do not see them there,

It seems we diabetics

Won’t be treated by the Hare!

Those sugar-free sorbitol

Candies take the goose,

If you eat too many

The bowels will be loose…

At least if the eggs are real

With lots of good protein,

We’ll be filled up with those things

And not with jelly beans!

 

–Jonathan Caswell