Tag Archives: paparazzi


The questions are moot,

Wearing patriotic suits…

Getting th’attention

Is the woman’s intention,

Hoping to bear handsome fruit!

When guys wear patriotic trunks,

If their bodies are tight, they’re hunks…

Whatever they wear

The viewers don’t care,

They love watching manly hunks.

Beyoncé’ and other stars,

Parade on summer sand bars…


Help others to see,

All those stripes and the stars!

–Jonathan Caswell

Illustration vis Google Images)

IRRITABLE—WHY?, from ladyornot.com

Irritably Irritable: Why I Hate Cell Phones

Posted on April 11, 2013 by

You may ask yourself why I am sitting in front of the computer at 2:30 A.M. blogging.  Or better yet, why I am downing a glass of spiced rum. Well you’re a nosy one aren’t you?  Anybody every tell you that no one likes busy bodies?

funny christmas cards family texting Irritably Irritable: Why I Hate Cell PhonesSince you’re here, I suppose I’ll tell you.  I hate cell phones.  Not only because I always end up sitting next to THAT PERSON on the bus/airplane/crowded space who refuses to not talk the entire time, though that is part of it.  It isn’t even about THAT PERSON who won’t turn off his phone when the flight attendant says to turn off electronic devices, but pretends to sleep and talks during take off and landing (and puts Becca through hell trying to decide if she should be a nark because he could be a terrorist).  My problem isn’t about going out with friends, only to look at the top of their heads because they are texting their invisible friends.

McG Irritably Irritable: Why I Hate Cell PhonesIt’s because I flippin’ got dropped off at my car tonight.  When I originally parked it, it was daylight.  Tonight it was the middle of the night.  Instead of waiting for me to get into my car, I was left to fend for myself.  You know this is very dangerous for a famous beauty like me.  I honestly think the paparazzi forgot to check their stalking software, but that is beside the point.

So I hop in my car and nothing happens.  Not a sound.  Silence.  I start to panic:   What can I do?  I guess I can hike to the guard stand and get help.  I have some sort of road side assistance. I quickly looked in the glove compartment for the number.  Hmmm when the kids offered to clean out the car they took everything out.  I forgot. The glove box was empty. Let me call my hubby.  I dial several times with no answer.  I HATE cell phones.  Everyone turns them to silence at night so if there is an emergency, too bad so sad.  Wait the friend I was with said to text so that they know I got home safe.  (Not the person that dropped me off.) I went to my texts, and see I missed one saying something like, “Had a great time, I’m going to bed.”  I texted anyway, just in case. Nope, nothing, nadda.

I was fortunate enough to see an employee driving around and she had a jumper cable and got me started.  I got home fine, but there were a few moments of panic. I am supposed to feel safer with a cell, but I miss old fashion home numbers that ring loud and wake everyone up.  I am now wondering why I don’t have one.

So there you have it, my dear probing audience, I’m having a post panic drink and I’m loving it.

wine Irritably Irritable: Why I Hate Cell Phones




Lady or Not… Here I Come!

I am too tired and full of rum to edit and all 3 editors are asleep, so please love me anyway.

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