BOLT TIGHTENING…OR LOOSENING?

The current bad attitude,

And blasting of anger is rude…

Changing old ways

We’ll give God the praise,

For installing gratitude!

–

Can’t do anything ’bout the past,

Just changing the present typecast…

Angry young man–

A boiled-over pan,

At present being tied to the mast!

–

His problems are working out,

With help of the Lord, no doubt…

Working his way

Through a Valley today,

One that he’d prefer to go out.

–

Balancing spirit-soul and body,

His upkeep has been rather shoddy…

Counselor and Pastor

Can help him master,

His aims without being gaudy!

–

–Jonathan Caswell

 

PASTOR’S SERMON

PASTOR’S SERMON

From a blank sheet of paper,

He preached from Hebrews,* God’s favor…

May Christ’s body seek

Connection all week,

Not just a Sunday retainer!

–Jonathan Caswell

* The Book to the Hebrews, Chapter 10: Verses 14 through 36.

Also…see Acts 2: 42-47.

FALLEN APPLE CUISINE

FALLEN APPLE CUISINE

 

I watched a family gather

The apples under a tree…

At my Pastor’s house I wondered

If that would do for me.

–

One wouldn’t eat them straight off the ground,

But want to wash them first…

Sweet cider would be nice around

For an overwhelming thirst.

–

Pies made with some crabapple

Are sweet with just enough tart…

My mother’s pie crust would hold it quite well,

For her, pie crust was an art.

–

This year, only the geese indulge

In fallen apples by the road…

For them it is an annual ritual,

Traveling energy being stowed!

 

–Jonathan Caswell

 

SHOWERING TOGETHER, from ladyornot.com

 

Showering Together

Posted on May 6, 2013 by Rebecca

My sister was visiting for the weekend and she was full of fun stories.  Today, she told me one that had me rolling.  I thought you all might enjoy hearing it.

She is very active in the Church of Christ.  It’s a Protestant denomination that is very male dominated.  At the time of this story, she was active in a smaller congregation of the church and worked with many of the elders at a pizza joint.  She would often moonlight as a massage therapist (not the fire spirit one I went to the other day).  Between the two jobs and personal relationships, she was friendly with most of the 300 some odd people who were present on one particular Sunday.

Her boss, and close friend, happened to be giving the communion homily that day.  He said, “Yesterday I was taking a shower with [insert my sister’s name here] and…”  He realized his mistake right away.  ”No! I never showered with [insert her name here], I meant my boys!  I never ever showered with her!”  He turned bright red while my sister sunk into her pew seat and his wife burst out laughing.  ”I tell you… it’s just that she gave me a massage yesterday.  My boys took a shower with her!  Oh crap, I showered with my boys.”

The rest of the service, she had to avoid eye contact with the wife, because the wife was laughing so hard.  My sister, who thinks of him as a brother, was mortified.  She realized she would lose massage business because of what he said.  Sure enough, after church, the woman with the largest stick shoved up her butt walked up to her and said, “You see!  This is why I never allow my husband to get a massage from you!”  Then she stormed off in a huff.

To this day, they laugh about having showered together.  She lost a lot of regulars whose wives were worried.  For goodness sake, he is quite a bit older than her and they fight like cats and dogs.  This church will always have quite the scandal.

x,

Becca

Lady or Not… Here I Come!

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This entry was posted in 1. Becca’s posts and tagged cat’s meow, cookie dough grows on trees and shrubs, enough with the fish pictures, funny, goofy, humor, lol, silly by Rebecca. Bookmark the permalink.