(To….JOSHUA FIT THE BATTLE OF JERICHO)
–
Baked beans fit my dinner plans,
Dinner plans
dinner plans,
Baked beans fit my dinner plans—
Unfrozen with margarine!
–
–Jonathan Caswell
(To….JOSHUA FIT THE BATTLE OF JERICHO)
–
Baked beans fit my dinner plans,
Dinner plans
dinner plans,
Baked beans fit my dinner plans—
Unfrozen with margarine!
–
–Jonathan Caswell
(Can be sung…to THE YELLOW ROSE OF TEXAS tune!)
–
Surveillance cameras in use
Don’t run all the time,
When there’s any movement
A nearby camera whines…
Traffic starts and stops in time
With certain delay,
But birds and bugs flying past
Have great detailed display!
–
These stop action cameras,
Point out with great detail,
Individual feathers
With which we are regaled…
Spiders moths and flying bugs
Look large near the camera globe,
Inexpensive horror film scenes
Where no one will disrobe!
Yes–recurring monster insects,
And no one is disrobed!
–
Jonathan Caswell
Last night he lay a-dreaming–
Behold a breakfast fair,
But when he turned around again
It wasn’t even there,
He didn’t get a chance to eat…
So was that really fair?
–
Oh foodie dreams,
Oh foodie dreams…
My how you do go on!
But no one gets to eat them—
The dreamer starves til dawn!
The dreamer never gets to eat
And starves until the dawn!
–
Then all at once cuisine was changed,
With joy the people sprang…
Appearing was a fried food stand
With less buck for the bang—
Appeared at once a fried food stand
For which the people sprang!
–
Oh foodie dream,
Oh foodie dream,
Not very high-brow!
Your people like their fish and chips
And less ground-up raw cow….
The people love those fish and chips
And less ground up raw cow!
–
(A parody using the tune of JERUSALEM, JERUSALEM (THE HOLY CITY)…)
–
–JONATHAN CASWELL
HAPPY IRISH DAY
–
I forgot it was St. Patrick’s
So Happy “Irish” Day!
A green water bottle
Helped me to get away
With my orange watchman’s cap,
I’ve worn most every every year
And wore one since a little boy
So they know I am here!
–
–Jonathan Caswell
FEEDING THE (WILD) TURKEYS*
–
Feeding the turkeys,
Feeding the turkeys,
Feeding the turkeys,
Oh come with me!
Out to the Camp Ground
Where they gather ’round,
Come feeding turkeys with me!
–
Feeding the turkeys,
Wild hungry turkeys,
Feeding the turkeys,
Oh, come with me…
Out to the woodshed
Where we have stale bread…
Come feeding turkeys with me!
–
Done feeding turkeys,
Done feeding turkeys,
So glad you were
There feeding with me…
We’re heading home to
Set up some tea to brew,
Wouldn’t you share my tea with me?
–
–Jonathan Caswell
*NOTE: *Can be sung to the chorus of WALTZING MATILDA, an Australian folk tune.
PREPARE FOR BLAST-OFF!
(Sugar Shock)
–
Christmas is coming,
The sweets are flooding in,
Won’t you put in an order for
Extra insulin?
If you don’t have a plan set,
Moderation will do…
If you can’t be controlled then
GOD BLESS YOU!
–
–Jonathan Caswell
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS
–
All I want is a balanced budget then,
A balanced budget,
A balanced budget…
All I want for Christ is a balanced budget…
Do you think Congress can get one together?
–
Jonathan Caswell
–
A PARODY OF “GET ME TO THE CHURCH ON TIME”
(from “MY FAIR LADY”)
–
I’m going shopping in the morning
When I am bright and head is clear…
Cutting the E-bay
Out of the way,
so we won’t have those over-drafts here!!!!
–Jonathan Caswell
LOVE MY IN-LAWS?
(to the tune of “The Yellow Rose of Texas”)
Became a part of family
By marriage, anyway,
Relations with her kinsfolk
Are cordial to this day…
She’s got a blended family
Divorces are rife,
But living with “what is”
We make the most of life!
–
My own folk have few divorces
But life at times is hard,
No matter what the money state
Or how big the back yard…
Accepting at face value
We walk among our friends,
Her family gets along
With in-laws for good ends!
–
She wanted to stay married–
That is my focus, too,
For seventy big ones
And then the “lease” renew…
Now life is full of characters
In her family,
I’m glad to be one of them…
On that we all agree!
–
I truly love my in-laws
And I know they love me too,
We’ve earned a mutual respect
To carry us through…
We’ll be there for each other
Till death do us part,
Our marriage is a covenant
And in-laws a special art!!!
–Jonathan Caswell