BAKED BEANS FIT MY DINNER PLANS (A PARODY)

(To….JOSHUA FIT THE BATTLE OF JERICHO)

–

Baked beans fit my dinner plans,

Dinner plans

dinner plans,

Baked beans fit my dinner plans—

Unfrozen with margarine!

–

–Jonathan Caswell

INTERRUPTED FLIGHT

(Can be sung…to THE YELLOW ROSE OF TEXAS tune!)

–

Surveillance cameras in use

Don’t run all the time,

When there’s any movement

A nearby camera whines…

Traffic starts and stops in time

With  certain delay,

But birds and bugs flying past

Have great detailed display!

–

These stop action cameras,

Point out with great detail,

Individual feathers

With which we are regaled…

Spiders moths and flying bugs

Look large near the camera globe,

Inexpensive horror film scenes

Where no one will disrobe!

Yes–recurring monster insects,

And no one is disrobed!

–

Jonathan Caswell

FOODIE DREAMS

Last night he lay a-dreaming–

Behold a breakfast fair,

But when he turned around again

It wasn’t even there,

He didn’t get a chance to eat…

So was that really fair?

–

Oh foodie dreams,

Oh foodie dreams…

My how you do go on!

But no one gets to eat them—

The dreamer starves til dawn!

The dreamer never gets to eat

And starves until the dawn!

–

Then all at once cuisine was changed,

With joy the people sprang…

Appearing was a fried food stand

With less buck for the bang—

Appeared at once a fried food stand

For which the people sprang!

–

Oh foodie dream,

Oh foodie dream,

Not very high-brow!

Your people like their fish and chips

And less ground-up raw cow….

The people love those fish and chips

And less ground up  raw cow!

–

(A parody using the tune of JERUSALEM, JERUSALEM (THE HOLY CITY)…)

–

–JONATHAN CASWELL

“HAPPY IRISH DAY”

HAPPY IRISH DAY

–

I forgot it was St. Patrick’s

So Happy “Irish” Day!

A green water bottle

Helped me to get away

With my orange watchman’s cap,

I’ve worn  most every every year

And wore one since a little boy

So they know I am here!

–

–Jonathan Caswell

“FEEDING THE (WILD) TURKEYS”

FEEDING THE (WILD) TURKEYS*

–

Feeding the turkeys,

Feeding the turkeys,

Feeding the turkeys,

Oh come with me!

Out to the Camp Ground

Where they gather ’round,

Come feeding turkeys with me!

–

Feeding the turkeys,

Wild hungry turkeys,

Feeding the turkeys,

Oh, come with me…

Out to the woodshed

Where we have stale bread…

Come feeding turkeys with me!

–

Done feeding turkeys,

Done feeding turkeys,

So glad you were

There feeding with me…

We’re heading home to

Set up some tea to brew,

Wouldn’t you share my tea with me?

–

–Jonathan Caswell

*NOTE:  *Can be sung to the chorus of WALTZING MATILDA, an Australian folk tune.

PREPARE FOR BLAST-OFF!

PREPARE FOR BLAST-OFF!

(Sugar Shock)

–

Christmas is coming,

The sweets are flooding in,

Won’t you put in an order for

Extra insulin?

If you don’t have a plan set,

Moderation will do…

If you can’t be controlled then

GOD BLESS YOU!

–

–Jonathan Caswell

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

–

All I want is a balanced budget then,

A balanced budget,

A balanced budget…

All I want for Christ is a balanced budget…

Do you think Congress can get one together?

–

Jonathan Caswell

–