Tag Archives: spell-check



arose from bed this morning at the wife’s clarion call…

the Home Health aide would soon arrive…

actually, a nurse and a student nurse came in,

I escaped , out-numbered, to survive!

in the common room one see’s the hordes descend,

health providers flow into the breach….

working out health plans designed with intent

maximizing life and health for each.

now my wife, two nurses and her aide can entertain,

while I will ply my trade nearly alone…

but for Joanne and the neighbors who pass by

working in the common spaces here at home!

–jonathan caswell

(P.S.—My spell check is having a field day with this writing style!)


Literary Dysmorphia

writer 300x225 Literary Dysmorphia

If you know me at all, you know that a 1st grader could easily beat me in a spelling bee. This is pretty awesome for little shin-biters around the world, but a bit disconcerting for me. So generally, I tell them they are spelling the word wrong because I’m a grown-up and I’m smarter than them. They listen… thus the problem with spelling and grammar in today’s world.

fewer 300x300 Literary DysmorphiaYesterday was National Grammar Day: a day where those who feel inferior to the rest of the world can thumb their noses at those they deem simple-minded. While I don’t equate myself with these people, I did recently exclaim in the grocery store, “Look! They used the correct word ‘fewer’ rather than ‘less’ on their sign!” Then I only heard crickets chirping from all the other shoppers who had no idea what I was talking about. Fortunately, my friend Jason was there to be excited with me, or I might have had to remind these strangers who I am and then they would have been embarrassed.

This had me thinking. Am I a grammar geek? I don’t bother to spell-check emails or edit them before I hit send. I often have to think if I should use the word “lay” or “lie”, and I might as well forget trying to use the word “moot” properly. Then again, you should see the people rushing to loosen my corsets and give me mouth-to-mouth when I hit publish by accident before editing a post.*

spell check 300x187 Literary Dysmorphia

I didn’t think I was a grammar geek… until recently. I told my friend Rod that I’m pretty sure I have what I like to call Literary Dysmorphia. Here I was, trucking along as a narcissistic blogger who loosely called herself a writer because… well, why the heck not? My amazing ability to fool people into believing I knew what I was doing led to much better writers than myself asking me to edit their works. This was great, because I had no friggin’ clue what I was doing. But being super awesome, I faked my way through it. Recently, I’ve been asked by a few people if I can hook them up in the editing world. But the most flattering of all was being found by the CEO of a huge editing company, and then being offered compensation to write something for them. It wasn’t much, but it was ego-stroking to say the least.

Literary Dysmorphia is defined by me as seeing your writing through warped goggles. Some writers are on their high horses thinking that they are better than everyone else, and can’t understand how others get published. Some of us are practically perfect, but are scared to death to actually write a book. Therefore, we cover ourselves in bacon grease and let dogs bite us so we don’t have to face that demon.

I’m a day late and a dollar short, but happy grammar day, y’all.

grammar day 300x129 Literary Dysmorphiax,
Lady or Not… Here I Come!

*I totally noticed that this sentence was a run-on, but I make my own grammar rules, so shut it.




Keyboarding is a challenge

For an older fingering feat…

Pressing ALT or CTRL unknowingly,

Hasten a blogger’s defeat.

Those fat flying fingers, notorious

They are for hitting wrong keys…

Don’t expect “Spell-check” to save you,

With words that may cut off your knees.

Oh, spell-check is great for sounds-alike,

And similar-meaning words…

Don’t automatically assume its choices are right

Or you may end up with funny-sounding verbs!

Unfortunate fingering takes time to screen

So edit your own adventures…

Please don’t come to me to bail you out,

I’ve got my own mistakes to cure!


–Jonathan Caswell





I hate using computer “spell-check”,

Like a popped pimple it gives me heck…

I think 5th grade

Is the level it’s made,

Not as “smart” as one would suspect.

My poetry’s in language old,

And other word usages bold…

But the English it uses

A High Schooler refuses,

To use, shouldn’t someone be told?????


–Jonathan Caswell