Tag Archives: The Yellow Rose of Texas

KAZOOED A TUNE!

The variously talented

“Kazooed” with trumpet lips,

For nurses walking down the hall

In timing with their hips (?)…

The tune seemed familiar

In a winsome way,

THE YELLOW ROSE OF TEXAS

Said he when they went away!

THE YELLOW ROSE OF TEXAS,

His favorite hooray!

–Jonathan Caswell

A parody poem!

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SAVED BY A FRIEND

SAVED BY A FRIEND

I drove up as usual

To work on the WI-FI,

Discovered that I’d lost the code

And wanted to cry…

His “IT” friend would not respond

To page or voice mail,

But Allen, another,

Put inĀ the code details!

He foundĀ  and typed it in,

Vowing to stay later,

But testing time was lengthened

By a MICROSOFT Update…

When the Update cleared

We tried the link and it worked perfectly,

I thanked my benefactor

For his help gratefully!

–Jonathan Caswell

HAREM SCARE’EM AND ME!

HAREM SCARE ‘EM AND ME !

(To the tune of “THE YELLOW ROSE OF TEXAS”…A SONG)

He thought he’d like a harem–

Oh, what a great idea–

Collecting beautiful women

For each day of the year…

Have one of every hair color:

Of red-heads, two or three,

Some that change with the season

Oh what a company!

But modern girls aren’t like the ones

That lived in olden time,

They’re much more educated,

Don’t easily resign…

Their lives and their futures

To a fat cat jailer-king,

To volunteer they’d like to hear

His cash disbursement ring.

Logistics would be maddening

Even if all were convinced,

Coming from all over

When he saw the bill he winced…

He began feeling outnumbered

Cooperation thin,

Instead of coming one-by-one

They all came after him!

He couldn’t pay their wages

So all up and left,

His fine plans for his evenings–

Not a single one was kept…

And then he got the bills for

The leaving of each one,

He decided then and there

Modern harems were no fun!

I thought of the same thing myself,

Like “THE HAREM OF BIRDS”

But only beautiful bloggers–

Women, in other words…

An exclusive club with just one man

My wife would veto fast,

My flesh already wants control—

The concept sounds a blast.

But thinking realistically

My cost is way too much,

I’ll lose those friends who cannot stand

A married man’s touch…

Long-distance relationships

Are harder to maintain,

I’d just as soon give up now

Before I feel the pain!

–Jonathan Caswell

DON’T SAY THEY’RE PRETTY!

DON;T SAY THEY’RE PRETTY!

(Parody lyrics for THE YELLOW ROSE OF TEXAS)

When greeting client employees

The pressures are immense,

You say someone’s pretty

With the purest of intents…

The woman may take offence

Thinking that’s not okay,

You might just lose your job

For the little things you say.

Some folks don’t wait around

To tittle with the Guard,

They’d like to get going–

Stopping in their back yard…

Some may stop for seconds

For the kind, quick good bye,

But you’d be prudent not to tell

Why they have caught your eye!

Sometimes you mention fabric

Or the color looks grand,

And they may accept it

With a regal wave of hand,,,

Leave out delicious body parts

In their “No Mention Zone”‘s,

Just don’t go there but make it clear

Your not the Devil’s own!

A friend or two may accest

Compliments now and then,

Just don’t make iy a habit

That will bite you in the end…

Just quietly accept the fact

Of this fine gallery,

Then keep your wits about you

But do it pleasantly@!

–Jonathan Caswell

COULDN’T WAIT…TO PAY BILLS!

COULDN’T WAIT…TO PAY BILLS!*

He awakened extra early

To check the bank account,

He wanted to make sure he had

A certain amount….

Today was a big day

For clearing the decks

Of assorted obligations

And some financial wrecks.

Oh, his payday has come at last

Let’s join the jamboree,

With clearing off the tables and

From creditors be freed…

A relief to be sitting here

Paying all his bills.

We hope there’s enough left over

For a few nice thrills,

Yes we hope he’;ll have some money left

for a few cheap thrills!!!!

–Jonathan Caswell

*(Can be sung to: THE YELLOW ROSE OF TEXAS)

LONG WEEKEND

LONG WEEKEND

(sung to “The Yellow Rose of Texas” )

It is a long weekend

For Office and the Post,

The ones who file out by my desk

Are loving that the most…

They often ask if I have

The same time off as they,

Being diplomatic

I often say nay:

And being diplomatic

I’ll smile as they run away!

The few that wonder why

I tell a little more,

There must be someone always here

To keep and mind the store…

I’ll get my time and a half

Of official duty pay,

And see them all back again

On the next working day:

To see them all back again

On that Tuesday!

–Jonathan Caswell

SNOW TOTALS

SNOW TOTALS

(To “The Yellow Rose of Texas”)

I’ve heard that fourteen inches

Is possible ’round here,

It’s not the snow that bothers me

But icy roads I fear…

Down in Douglas we had rain,

A drizzle so nice–

I’m just afraid when I go home

It all will turn to ice!

Oh, the sanders and the snowplows,

They are my greatest friends…

I know that they’ll be working

Until this storm ends…

I don’t begrudge them coffee breaks

Or taking time to eat,

If they work on until it’s done

They all deserve a treat!

It only took an hour

On slippery roads today,

To drive north to my job

Along the State Highway…

A couple plow phalanxes

I followed going slow,

Kept me safe and made the roads

Safe for all to go!

Oh…the sanders and the snowplows…

They are my greatest friends,

I know that they’ll be working

Until the need ends…

I don’t begrudge them coffee breaks

Or taking time to eat,

If they work on until it’s done

They all deserve a treat!

–Jonathan Caswell