CASES OF (GOOSE) REPELLENT

CASES OF (GOOSE) REPELLENT,

Alternative lyrics to that classic folk tune,

“Grandma’s in the Cellar,” as sung by Lisa Loeb.

 

Cases of repellent

From bio-chemical talent,

Basting grasses with nasty-tasting spray…

(HONK, HONK!)

Hordes of geese our sidewalks pooping

Aren’t conducive to poop scooping,

What a broom and real hot water cleans away!

–

NASTY GEESE—BIG RELEASE!

It’s a problem for the public walking through…

But those anti-goose talents

Make foul-tasting repellents,

So the chore of cleaning sidewalks may be through!

–

Company tried imitation

Coyotes stationed

At fixed points trying to scare geese away…

(HONK, HONK!)

But the old geese soon saw through

That subterfuge too,

In a week the “faux furs” had nought to say!

–

NASTY GEESE—-BIG RELEASE!

It’s a problem for the public walking through…

But with anti-goose talent

Making foul-taste repellent,

Maybe our goose problem will disappear too!

 

–Jonathan Caswell