CASES OF (GOOSE) REPELLENT

CASES OF (GOOSE) REPELLENT,

Alternative lyrics to that classic folk tune,

“Grandma’s in the Cellar,” as sung by Lisa Loeb.

 

Cases of repellent

From bio-chemical talent,

Basting grasses with nasty-tasting spray…

(HONK, HONK!)

Hordes of geese our sidewalks pooping

Aren’t conducive to poop scooping,

What a broom and real hot water cleans away!

NASTY GEESE—BIG RELEASE!

It’s a problem for the public walking through…

But those anti-goose talents

Make foul-tasting repellents,

So the chore of cleaning sidewalks may be through!

Company tried imitation

Coyotes stationed

At fixed points trying to scare geese away…

(HONK, HONK!)

But the old geese soon saw through

That subterfuge too,

In a week the “faux furs” had nought to say!

NASTY GEESE—-BIG RELEASE!

It’s a problem for the public walking through…

But with anti-goose talent

Making foul-taste repellent,

Maybe our goose problem will disappear too!

 

–Jonathan Caswell

 

 

 

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